Expectatons from the 50/60s on being married, etc.

I recently found something I wrote in High School, it was from Home Economics and the assignment was to write about our view of marriage.  Then I dreamed about being 1/2 half of the perfect couple, OK I did not  use the word perfect, but in re-reading this decades old epistle I learned that my view then was very traditional.  I viewed my role as a wife to make my husbands life perfect.  The actions involved in this included the perfectly clean house, dinner on the table when he was ready, getting up to put on my make up so he would always see me at my best.  I went on to elaborate about this would be accomplished.
My view on this at sixteen was shaped by the world I lived in, marriage was an expectation, being single at the ripe old age of 25, made you a spinster.  Laugh if you will but rural Wisconsin at that time did not have a view of the career beyond being the wife, mother and perhaps secondary income.  Yes there were women with careers, but the truth was they were not recognized in my little world as role models, more likely they were secretly  pitied. 

I did marry young, and did spend my days trying to be the perfect wife to Ken.  My world revolved around him, and unfortunately my goals were unrealistic.  I lacked balance.  I loved doing what I did then, it seemed perfectly normal and I was happy.  However life happened.

How did this way of living affect my life as I see it now?
The absolute truth is I will never really know, but I do see that I excluded my friends from this life.  I saw my girl friends and their significant others, but our previously close relationships were replaced with a more casual friendship.  I would never have admitted that there was anything I lacked,  I have a husband and my life was to be perfect.  Not being perfect WAS not an option in my definition of my life. One simply did not hang out their dirty laundry, you managed.

This was the expectation.  What I did not see that it was my own expectation, based on what I thought I HAD to be. It isolated me, and that did shape my future.

How different the outlook is today. 

Today women are encourage to embrace marriage and their other world together, the isolation part is long gone, the world has broadened. The balance of worlds is difficult but seems to encourage a more complete person that is multi-focused.. 

In looking back I think that my changed relationship with my closer friends had a profound effect on the course of my life.  I rationalized much, did not have feedback on my views and made decisions based on my own conclusions.  Duh?  But it  is what I knew then, I thank God that I have learned to ask others for help, understand we do not need to be only unto ourselves , input and encouragement is good for the soul and everyday living.

Being a "Good Wife" is still a part of my life, but being the best person I can be is my goal, it fits in to my roles as being a Good--Person, Mom, Friend, Nurse, Mentor, Grandmother, Daughter,Citizen, community member and of course Wife does fit into this broadened world and completes the person I am today, more balanced, confident and faithful to my God and myself.

LIfe is good but aging does bring a few realizations.  The most importatnt to me of these life lessons is that I have always tried to do what I thought was best, but I did not always have the right information to accomplish what was best.

The key to this is that I do know I did try, and what I know today is that my choices not matter what they were , brought new opportunities and certainly did broaden my horizons.  I do like me today, and I know I am still learning, growing and changing.  Yep, I am still alive and learning.