Moving Along

This is week three since I finished at Aurora.  I am honestly struggling to adjust to this new world.  It sounds easy, you don't go to work,  you do whatever you want, your time is free.  It is anything but simple.  I lived in a world ruled by my calendar, meetings and deadlines and I did it for decades.  Now I awaken and do not have to rush for the most part to anything.  I am still waking up at 0500 or earlier and staying up later is not working in fixing that issue, if it is an issue. 
I now have the time to actually finish moving into this house.  I have worked on a few things from time to time but since Stan died I never felt a need to complete some of the projects.  It still seems a non issue because who really cares, except me.  I am paring down and separating from many things we collected over the years because it is time for them to live with and brighten some other lives.  I am getting help with this process from a friend who is a pretty good terminator--will you need it, have you used it, what is it for??? out it goes. 
I have parted with some more of the furniture I still own from when Gregg and Jason were born, I am also keeping some, but fifty years of service is a long life.  I have been sorting out Stan's things as well.  His foot locker had his report cards, letters from when he was in the service, and miscellaneous things he wanted to keep.  I have sorted those out, discarded things that were not my concern and  put a few things aside for Nick
The tools he collected so lovingly are now being sorted for what I will and can use and a new life at Habitat Rehome.  He had a relationship with his tools, just I have had the same attachment to those things I thoughtfully collected and added to our home.
The struggle is now it is not our home, but a new home for me, a place where I have to build a new world.  I need it to have memories from all of my life and room for new experiences. 
Today I did exactly what I did not expect, I sat down in the kitchen looking at the empty buffet and hutch and cried.  Cried until my eyes hurt, and was done.
Life goes on and so will the changes in my world. 
Moving along.