Thursday, October 26, 2023

The Winter of Life is Not for Sissys. Aging is Not a curse

1 Getting older is not a curse. It is however, sometimes difficult to appreciate the fact that is a Blessing. 2 3 My faith is an important part of my life and as I navigate growing older it has played a major role. In most of my church activities my age does not seem to be a factor. Me as a person is valued and able to contribute fully. At least in my church where "all" are welcome. 4 5 6 recently I have learned that stress affects me differently than it used to. I used to be able to take some things in stride that no longer bounce off as easily. Much of this may be related to my own perception of how younger people respond to me and others who are older. 7 8 A few examples of ageism that are with us every day--being invisible, having people speak louder and slower, and other cases where older individuals are treated differently. 9 10 Case in point is related to anything computer related. I frequently run zoom virtual meetings from church and yet in other places I am questioned about my ability to do so. I realize that people may be offering to help, but when they offer and then take over it gives the impression that i am not capable. In the past I would have said, great you can go ahead. Yes, growing older seems to increase my sensitivity to "help". I find myself short on responses and perhaps too abrupt. I do pray for guidance, but sometimes my desire to do it myself interferes. Yes, I am computer literate but not a genius. 11 12 Another thing I have learned is that I can take on too much and admit it. I am finding myself missing deadlines, writing down things wrong (I use my electronics for my calendar) because it is now hard for me to write by hand. MY chemo from decades ago has finally really affected my hands, first they were weaker, and I couldn't hold retractors during a surgery, then they were painful, now I had to give up jewelry making, and a few other fine skills, now writing is uncomfortable. it is embarrassing to not be able to always write or note take and the stiffness also can affect using a keyboard. 13 14 the trick that I have not been able to master is how to pare down the responsibilities I have agreed to. Younger me, would have delegated or declined. but something about being older I suddenly seemed to think I had more time--strange the days still have the same number of hours, and the weeks are still just 7 days. 15 16 Here I am stressed because I have too much to do, how do I decide what to change? 17 When I was younger, obviously the job was a must, now the choices are what keeps me busy and what makes sense and gives me a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment''. 18 19 Getting older to me, A blessing and a time to give back. Choosing activities that make sense, give back, help others, and bring joy. this certainly does not mean doing everything for pleasure, some things require work. 20 this may not be what I would choose but that brings me one of the above, i.e. picking up trash is not fun but a clean-up project is an example that would make sense. What I do know is that understanding the Blessing requires common sense. Each of us has only so much time on this earth and using the time wisely has become so important to me. I do not want to spend my time being cranky, rude, and stressed, I am quite human and these reactions when applied to my responses is distressing. Being a cranky old person is not in my DNA, and time management with self-honesty is what I need to guide me along with listening to the Spirit,. In fact, that will be a priority to establish balance in my life will be more time to meditate and read. 21

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