It is What it Is, Until you dedice to change it.

This milestone Birthday is on my mind more than I would like.  I was asked yesterday  (after being emotional, discussing retirement) if I really wanted to retire next year.  That really has never been a question in my mind.

 I want to do some different things.  I have never chosen an easy job, and some challenges were more than difficult.  The point is I have been successful, I have made a difference and I have given it my best.  Now, there are some that would not see it that way, but I sleep well knowing that I have done my best.

I am emotional about this, change, the effects of aging are not to be escaped, (I will fight that) but it is frightening, as well as the challenge of choosing well.  I have not had enough time for charity work (Habitat for Humanity, cancer concerns and my own church work)  I have just not been overly involved.
This time of life is very much like the 18 year milestone,  I get to choose what to do with the rest of my life and want it to be right.  I have experience now to guide my decisions, but do I have enough  wisdom?
Questions, questions, questions?  I have touched people in my nursing career and want to continue making a difference no matter how minute.

. I do fear being put out to pasture as happened to a peer.  She was put in what we called a mercy job until she decided to retire.  It was embarrassing for her and others, those that did it were not smart enough to get their error.

This past year I have faced some very difficult professional challenges, I have been very transparent about what I needed to do better, admitted errors and learned from the information I gathered.  There is a great deal of negativity surrounding these events, but even acknowledging the existence is a waste of my energy.  I am moving on and in the tradition of my Mother-in -Law keeping my glass half full.

I do know that I want to remian in Ohio for now, my life was shaped here and there are so many opportunities.  I need to decide what will work best, stay of go, Try or move on. 

no matter what, I am giving it my best shot.