Life keeps moving on if we are furtunate. As the journey continues we keep changing. The Winteer of Life indeed, is not for Sissies. The challenges continue to seemingly inrease in difficulty or so it may feel.
I have a leak under my sink and 10 yeara ago I would have crawled under the sink to check it out. Today i simply do not think i can physically do it.
There are days when I think i would like to do something and i suddenly realize that is simply is not going to happen today or ever again. Ice skating, skiiing, body surfing and hiking off an established trail are off the menu. Physically I could manage some but the risk of falling gets to be more real and knowing healing takes longer I am not willing to risk some things. THIS does not mean that I am going to sit and rock but i am relapcing some activities with newer more gentle activities. My Mother was over 90 when she died and if her genes are a predictor I have some time left. I also know nothing is promised Soo... Life for many people in my age bracket brings great changes. I am living alone for the first time in my life. I had expected to have a partner to share these years, things change. Change means I need to step up, make those decisions that were in the past mutual. Then true to my nature second guess myself. But the good news is there isn't anyone to argue with about the choices. Which comes to the next issue, when will I not be able to make choices? How will I know? Will I have collaborative input from family and firends or will I be dictated to and pushed into something I don't want? Scary thoughts. Finding new activities and friends to do them with is work. You have to reach out and ask people to actually connect, or volunteer and get out Picking up the phone is sometimes hard. I get lonely but hate to admit it. I crave a hug, or a smile and how do you communicate that?
We have changing needs as time passes and the very hard part is accepting the changes- and then acting accordingly. My next challenge is to find a place to live in the future where i do not have to struggle with repairs, but affordabe housig is another challenge. When should that be? Where shoudl I be? Unanswerd questions for now. But they will ned to be anwered' Tough Choices but i would really prefer to be her to choose. I have so much to bring me joy. Faith that I am never truly alone sustains me. Later