Lemons to Lemonade ( on being a widow)

Yeserday someone asked me whiy I still belonged to a Widow/Widoweeer group. The rationale is it has been seven years since Stan died and why would I still need to belong to group like this? I had to think about it and these are some of my thoughts. Being a widowed is not a choice. One day you are a couple and the next day you and alone. It is not a choice. It just is. Good marriage or not great there are still memories that pop up. Even people who have remarried have their days when a tear can roll out, with an unexpected memory. There is not a cutoff date for grief, in fact giref is probably more unpredictablee than any thing I can think of as an example. Everyone has thier own way of handling grief and there ceeretainly is not a right answeer. The thing is is that included with the grieving is learning to live a comletely different life. The other par of us us gone and a million little things come up that you never realized thee other did For example for decades Stan made the morning coffee, It took me months to actually make some for myself, Not lazineess just a hard thing to do for me. I went right back to work because it kept me busy, but the nights were hell. I had neever , ever lived alone beforee, once you are part of a couple and then you arent some friends (couples disappear because the third is awarkward for them). I am blessed to have couplee firends where all three of us have a great time and all is well, but you have to be comfortablee with being friends with couples. I love bing around people who are happy with each otheer, it is contagious and never fails to make me feel goodl I adimit I am envious but find it uplifiting to enjoy thier happiness.