Memories of a Time Past

The unexpected death of another old friend took me back to my seventeenth summer.  The times were different then but the thoughts of him and those I remember around us are more than happy memories.  Memories of a promise of what life could bring and a sweet innocent belief in life and people.  We spent many days that summer splashing around like young otters at the sand pit in Oshkosh or the forbidden quarry.  Playing games and having fun, boys and girls on the brink of adulthood but not there.  This was the summer of my first real glimpse of love, I remember that boy pulling me under the water, splashing me and eventually kissing me. It was tentative and sweet.  I can vividly recall those thick wonderful eyelashes, and the eyes of an unfathomable color, looking so intently into my eyes.  I learned that it can feel like someone is looking into you soul and can burn a spot on your heart.  That tender and loving look remains in my memory bank, not a memory of longing, regret or anything more than a happy and wonderful memory of a first love.
I can almost feel the warmth of that summer sun, and that boy/man will forever remain in my heart as one who did teach me to love.  It was a part of who I am now, a wonderful part that can still bring a smile and warmth even all these years later.  We were so innocent then, this boy went on to the Marines, became a father and husband and died all to soon, but he did bring joy, love and hope to many in his short life, and this includes me.

Now the death of another of that group saddens me but he too brought joy and love to many and will never die in our hearts or memories.

Winter Beautiful or Not

I awakened today to sheets of ice everywhere, of course I was not alone.  This whole part of Ohio is coated with ice,  It is beautiful, the shapes and shimmering icicles on the the trees are marvels of nature and fascinate me.  I walked gingerly with the dogs this afternoon and realized the beauty is dangerous.  The shimmering sheets of ice are of course slippery and two frisky dogs constitutes a hazard of its own.  The ice slowed them down to a manageable pace but continues to fascinate me. 

Watching them choose their steps and look suspiciously at the snow/ice or snice and back up when they sink or it cracks under their weight.  I learned that the heel first worked well to plant myself firmly on the earth in an upright position.  This how I wished to remain, I watched a few people doing the sprawl form my window earlier.  This does not look like fun.

The truth of the matter is that 30 years ago I would have been out with my camera and now I am concerned with things like broken legs and or hips.  Change and age have forced me to consider a safer route.

So for now I will be content to sit out this winter storm with only one photo that I liked and drink my tea and play with the dogs inside

The luxury of having the time to contemplate this is a gift and I know I am Blessed.

New Adventure/Possibilities

I have always viewed life as an adventure.  I love stories and probably should write some of them down, we used to make up stories when we traveled.  We would be driving through Chicago on our way to Detroit and we found the tall buildings, closely spaced homes fascinating.  We lived in farming country so this was definitely foreign to us.  Some of our stories were affected by what we saw on TV, but mostly it was our imaginations. 

My imagination is still active and this is a great and wonderful thing.  It keeps me optimistic and filled with possibilities.

I have some time off from work, a prelude to actual retirement.  I am still not quite ready to not work but I need a break.  I have had a job of some sort since 1962, no that is not a typo, 1962.  It am looking forward to some time with my Mother and nieces as well as my Mother-in-law and then we shall see .

Possibilities, there are so many will I teach?  what will I do.  I have skills I have not even developed and may not even know about,  This is why imagination is so important, it give us possibilities.

Now for today, I am sitting here, watching the Ohio permanently grey winter sky, snow covered ground and thinking.  I am showered and dressed, too many years of early rising and getting out of the house to still be in robe and slippers. (OK in my case sweats and slippers) but the idea is still the same.

Reading the paper and sipping on coffee was however a treat.  I hope I can always appreciate this type of moment, it is not a part of life for many and deserves to be appreciated.  I am off to read for awhile .

so the new adventure begins

The Winter of LIfe is NOT for Sissy's: On Losing a Friend, the comfort of Faith

The Winter of LIfe is NOT for Sissy's: On Losing a Friend, the comfort of Faith: "Jesus said to her, 'I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; (26 )and whoever lives and bel..."

On Losing a Friend, the comfort of Faith

Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; (26 )and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?"" John 11 25-

One of the very worst things about life is losing people that have touched you, made a difference in your life and in general had influence on shaping who you are.

I have a deep abiding faith that Judy lived and died as God intended, her life ended unexpectedly and left a void for those left behind but she she left her heart and soul in all of us that knew and loved her.

We shared the bloom of our teenage years, first loves and the mysteries of life that only young girls can find to talk about.  We were raised in a different time and place that would seem strange and almost alien to the young women of today, yet our hopes for life were no different then than they are in the young now.  We were excited to be alive, had no fear and no concept of mortality.  We dreamed of our futures never thinking that we would really go far from the lake we loved.  She moved and stayed in Iowa, in a small town I have never seen and yet know about.  I told her of my adventures as we moved from place to place.  I think that on occasion we envied each other.  I don't know anyone that I know that I haven't thought about what would it be like to be him or her.  Just fleeting thoughts because we were both Blessed to have good lives and wonderful friends and families.  We have had the opportunity to raise our boys, (interesting fact we both thought when we were teenagers we wanted at least 5 or 6 kids and certainly girls) well , we each had two boys and got our girls as daughters in law. 

Judy touched many people, more than I shall ever know.  I know she will live on in her children, grandchildren and all those she knew and loved.

"Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope. We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him."
1 Thessalonians 4 13-14

Judy Kay Klemp Davis 1946-2011 An Unknown Hero

by Chris Rosenthal on Sunday, January 16, 2011 at 1:07

Judy, Albert and Chris in Butte des Morts, WI

I have known Judy for nearly as long as I have been alive.  I have been Blessed in the recent years to have had many opportunities to talk and laugh with her, share silly e-mails and renew a bond that went back before these photos.

Judy was my first friend, we drifted apart over the years as people do, but when we did talk that old bond was just  as strong as ever.  We both love our boys with a fierceness that is rivaled in the wild, we share a strong belief in God.  My first church memories were shared with her in Winneconne, trying to be quite and not get her Mothers attention.

There are many memories and they are strong, but Judy was my hero for the strong woman she was.  She grew up with a disease that in our time was snickered at, and people whipsered the word epilepsey.  She was determened to be like everyone esle and she did just that, married, had her wonderful boys and now daughters-in-law that she loves deeply and her Blessed Grandchildren.  She had her career and life and never lost her love for the water.

The water was source wonder and enchantment for us.  We would sit in the boathouse and watch the storms come across Lake Butte des Morts, we ice skated on the frozen water, we floated in the row boat and talked of our dreams for life.  We solved a lot of the worlds problems on that lake, in our boat and in the back yard tent where we held sleep overs.  We even caught and cooked fish over an open fire pretending to pioneers or something we dreamed up.  We loved our roses and would play with petals for hours, I know neither of us has ever love our love for the roses or the water.

Judy met her future husband John in my back yard, I remember her telling me she was going to marry him, probably long before John thought of it.  Good thing he got the idea.

I am glad I made that call just days before she was stricken, I will always feel a sense of loss, she was one of those people that leave handprints on the heart and I am certain I am only one of countless others that she touched

May she rest in peace and now Walk with God at home.  You will be missed, your time with us was too short.

For today that is all I have to say.

It is What it Is, Until you dedice to change it.

This milestone Birthday is on my mind more than I would like.  I was asked yesterday  (after being emotional, discussing retirement) if I really wanted to retire next year.  That really has never been a question in my mind.

 I want to do some different things.  I have never chosen an easy job, and some challenges were more than difficult.  The point is I have been successful, I have made a difference and I have given it my best.  Now, there are some that would not see it that way, but I sleep well knowing that I have done my best.

I am emotional about this, change, the effects of aging are not to be escaped, (I will fight that) but it is frightening, as well as the challenge of choosing well.  I have not had enough time for charity work (Habitat for Humanity, cancer concerns and my own church work)  I have just not been overly involved.
This time of life is very much like the 18 year milestone,  I get to choose what to do with the rest of my life and want it to be right.  I have experience now to guide my decisions, but do I have enough  wisdom?
Questions, questions, questions?  I have touched people in my nursing career and want to continue making a difference no matter how minute.

. I do fear being put out to pasture as happened to a peer.  She was put in what we called a mercy job until she decided to retire.  It was embarrassing for her and others, those that did it were not smart enough to get their error.

This past year I have faced some very difficult professional challenges, I have been very transparent about what I needed to do better, admitted errors and learned from the information I gathered.  There is a great deal of negativity surrounding these events, but even acknowledging the existence is a waste of my energy.  I am moving on and in the tradition of my Mother-in -Law keeping my glass half full.

I do know that I want to remian in Ohio for now, my life was shaped here and there are so many opportunities.  I need to decide what will work best, stay of go, Try or move on. 

no matter what, I am giving it my best shot.

On A Milestone Birthday in a New Year

2011 is the year those of us classified as the first Baby Boomers turn 65, and as the world is are some of the first that cannot actually retire with full Social Security Benefits.  Just a simple fact.

Life seems to be lived in many cases in segments related to Birthdays.  There is the First Birthday which for any parent is a huge milestone.

 I have seen photos of my own first birthday, there was the cake that I put my fist firmly into and then daintily ate from my own hand. This information from my Mom. That photo has been long gone and the next photo if from my 4th or 5th Birthday because Jeff Harper is in that photo along with Holly his younger sister, we were in Wisconsin and this party looks like it was great fun for all.  I have this photo. After that I do not have any Birthday photos nor do I remember any particular parties,  I am not saying that my birthday was not celebrated, we just did not do parties in the same way they are done in this century. 

My next Birthday of note was the 16th, because then I could finally legally drive a car, after passing the drivers test of course.  I had learned to drive long before this, tractors, the old Forty nine Chevy, black four door and it came with a key ring that says "see the USA in your Chevrolet"  I still have that key ring.  I loved that car, it was my Grandpa's car.

Then came 18,  in Wisconsin it meant you could legally drink in 'Beer Bars", and vote.  I worked for the young Republicans that year as a Goldwater Girl, and fell in love with Rick.  I graduated from high school, and decided to attend college at Wisconsin State University, Oshkosh.  I did this in lieu of going elsewhere because I was in love. 

This choice became one of those decisions that was to be significant, in how my life grew and developed.  Before the next significant birthday I met Ken, and not long after my 21st Birthday we were married in Oshkosh, Wisconsin.  The next years took us to Fort Huachuca, AZ. Gregg was born there and we couldn't have been happier.

We ended in Dayton Ohio in the 70's and welcomed Jason .  By the end of the decade we were settled in our first home and living the suburban life. 

I passed the 30 year mark contemplating going to nursing school, and in fact did do that.  I went to Sinclair Community College, and soon after finished a BS at Wright State.

The next years brought more changes and choice shaped the destinations my life would take. 
I married Stan Rosenthal in1990 and started anther new adventure.  Our path would take us to Florida, South Carolina, Mississippi, Alabama and most recently to Ohio.  

The details are what they are, we are in Ohio now and where we end up is not decided.

What is a fact is that I will soon turn 65.  I approach this age with as much anticipation as I did the earlier major ages I mentioned.  This is different, however, it does not mark the age at which I can do something new, rather the age at which I can begin choosing not to do some things, like working full time.

I understand that this age brings what can be termed the beginning of the end--this is not morbid rather a  reminder that choices become more important.  I could just chose to vegetate and morn my lost youth.  I never lost my youth, it is still there active in my brain and thinking therefore I am not really old in my own eyes.  I have to say that seeing the reality in the mirror can be a shock but it not a deterrent to continuing to really live and learn.

It would be nice if I could be very profound in my words, but they are not coming.  I begin this new era with a determination to keep learning, growing and making a difference.  I have a great family, I know that I have touched others in my work and in the world in general.  I am determined to be forgiving and continue to teach while I learn. 

I want to live a very long time as long as I have my faculties.  I want to see how things play out, I have always been curious and I want to see what happens in the world and in my family.  My Mother-in-law, Lorraine is my hero.  She at 86, lives a full active life and never quits.  Her glass is always half or more full and her spirit serves as a role model.  She has taken what life has dealt and made lemonade or Manhattans from it. 

so here I am at the beginning of the end, but what is it the end of?? The story will continue as we live on.  Hopefully retirement will be in the next year or so--but nothing is guaranteed nor planned.

Happy New Year and New Adventures to me and all of my fellow Boomers